please revise this report follow the sample and do me a discussion with a response also

Please revise this report follow the sample and do me a discussion with a response also. For report, my professor actually we have explained very well. But I still hope you can do some edition base on example. Thx

discussion: I want you to check out sites like myspace, facebook, youtube, tag, etc…These are considered social networks. How do companies advertising on these sites and do you find these persuasive? If so, how are they persuasive?

student work: As a facebook user, I see many advertisements on my news feed. These advertisements are persuasive because they know how to grab the attention of users. Many of the advertisements use videos to reel people in which I think is a great way to expand a business. They add music and photographs as well that grab even more attention. Nowadays on a user, facebook newsfeed advertisements show up pertaining to the users’ likings and searches. This helps companies advertise better and more persuasive.

 
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